Woman to Woman--Keeping Your Marriage Alive


"Whether you've been married for 38 years, 8 years or are a newlywed, you've probably picked up a few of the keys to a happy marriage, one which is nurturing and continues to grow. Maybe your marriage has struggled, but you've found a road back to each other and have insights for those in similar situations. What would you say are the three most key elements in your marriage that keep the romance alive and the heart aflutter? "
This is the question Morning Glory and Lei set for us today. At first I thought, "How Hard! I don't know what we've done to keep harmony for 30+ years!"

But then I got to thinking. Not long ago I was asked by a little friend on MySpace to tell how we had kept being married and happy for so long. This was the answer I gave her.
  1. I married my best friend. If you cannot be friends, there's really no hope for a marriage.
  2. Be honest. Show all your warts, keep nothing back, share where you've been and where you hope to go. Don't lie!
  3. Trust God and go to church together. If God isn't put first, and you don't listen to His will for you, your marriage will be over before it begins.
  4. Don't disagree in front of the children...stick together. Even if you think the other is wrong in a decision regarding the children, talk about it privately, and NEVER allow the kids to play you against each other.
  5. Have fun. Do things together, not separately.
  6. Support each other in their and your passions. If your spouse likes to act in plays, help him, support him, go with him. Don't stay at home like a lump!
Wow, that wasn't hard at all. And, it's surely has worked for us!

Comments

Morning Glory said…
Those are so basic and necessary for a good relationship. I like how they sort of pull it all together in a no-nonsense fashion. Thanks SO much for sharing your thoughts.

I've read your blog long enough now to know that you two have a very enjoyable life and relationship together. It's beautiful to read about.
Montserrat said…
Great tips! Putting God first is really and important one.
Susie said…
Very good advise! I always find it hard to answer the question "So what's your secret to having such a long marriage"
There is no secret: You work at it every day of your life..
xo
MommyK said…
Hear, Hear! Especially the part about not letting the kids see you disagree. My H and I play by that rule. We are a united front, even if I privately think he's wrong.
Lei said…
Supporting each other has been a big one for us. It's something I've really come to appreciate!

Thanks for sharing that with us!
Jen said…
Lots of wisdom in just a few words! Thanks for posting your tips!
Dawn said…
Very good advice! It's fun to look back and see what has worked, isn't it?
Michelle said…
what a great list! #1 is so true - you definitely need to be friends!
That was so good Sue. I enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for sharing with us. connie from texas
Michelle said…
Amen! #1 is so true. My husband and I are best friends and I'm so glad! Thank you for your advice and congrats on 30+ years!!
PEA said…
Such good advice dear Sue...I should have listened to some of them! lol I'm so happy for you that you have such a wonderful marriage but I also know what a lot of work it is to keep it that way!! xox
Gemma said…
Lee and I have been together 28 years.....not always so harmoniously and not necessarily for the same reasons you and Ray kept a successful marriage....but at the end of the day the love and passion were still there and so were we.
Miracle!
Kai said…
those are lovely sioux.. you're so smart..
Peace, Kai
mumple said…
Great, practical advice. Especially "don't be lump"!
Bimbimbie said…
thanks for looking in and saying "hello" Sue ... I agree with your top of the list answer - strong foundations to build and grow a marriage Smiles *!*
giggles said…
Lots of wisdom in those tips that's for sure. I tell the kids that all the time!!

Hugs Sherrie
The Woman said…
Great advice! :o)

Taking notes...
Hi Sue - Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. I hadn't been to your site in awhile. Love the look!!! Your post here was great. You said soooo much in a simple, concise way and it is all right on. Those items you listed are exactly how Mickey & I are approaching 49 years!!!
Susan